The Two Decade Effect

There has been a constant ebbed feeling that would tug at the prefrontal cortex of this two decade old homo sapien. And the tugging got a little more livid at the beeps of my cell phone. Turns out my beloved twin  (as per our twin theory) had been feeling the same. Marina, at 2:02 am, wanted to know what happened within a span of 2 years that reduced the rate of pictures uploaded on Facebook, reduced the amount of free time we have and considerably reduced the no. of times I had golgappa.

We'd become "more serious, less carefree, less funny, probably more mature".  The so instigated train of thoughts went on and on but since it was the wee hours of the morning I decided to not ponder over it much.

Enter Nikita. (9:49 am) Nikita: c on fb, i've commented on 1 of our pics frm 2 years back. v were so thin back then nd luk like kids. just 2 years nd kitna kuch badal gaya hai. Amity has been an eventful journey for me at least.
I promised to check once I'd gone through my morning routine- and I did. The change was evident and inevitable.





Speaking of the inevitable, I remembered a conversation with another friend of mine. "Life is a journey, we meet new ppl, some stay for less time some for longer. But everyone teaches you something new about this journey. And the best thing is it goes on... Everyone has his own way to walk past this journey. Nothing is wrong or right. And this is one of the journeys where the destination matters the least."
All of this within a day- so I came up with my contribution to the nostalgia that's been travelling around. It's probably a totally different aspect but it's something that's been staring at us from an inch of distance from our faces at us.
Just two decades on this planet and everybody feels like they've had had been duped into changing, being more careful, slightly cynical, less cheerful and older, by the thug- Time.
But what have we accomplished? Just the realization that time's slipped by.

We have a long way to go (hopefully) and a lot to accomplish. There's a lot to learn, a lot to create, a lot to think, lots of games to play, lots of things to see. We have changed but only for the better- seasoned with the changing times.
And we're still young! Let's not think how we've changed and think what has made us better- rather. We'll change, no doubt, but what's the point in staying the same always?

I'd quote two great minds I've met:

Marina: "life's all changed naa.. even as we look back to 1st year in Clg.. changed in a gud way.. i think i hv become more intellectually mature..maybe.. toooo many wrong ppl and now i can handle wrong."

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep."

-Robert Frost

Punctuation that

We're living in times where a misplaced emoticon can spell havoc, where a sentence without a smiley is plain rude, where a statement ending with full stops rather than cliffhangers is curt. One just cannot decide once and for all because the way everyone perceives these yellow circular faces is different. A devil to one is an angel to another- or more appropriately- one's shades-wearing-smiley is another's smiley-a-la-attitude. How am I supposed to know if your statement full of exclamations is full of anger, or eagerness, or adrenaline, or happiness or simply a lubricant-slick keypad?

We've started reading less and hearing more. We hear what we expect and what is pre-determinedly going on in our minds. A punctuation mark- a comma, a question mark and more importantly, a full stop is not shouting at you or abusing you or poking fun at you. It is simply saying that it is organizing the statement in the correct syntactical form- NOT putting an end to your relationship. It is not asking you to shut up or imagine the person insultingly shrugging shoulders at you.

So how about this? Let's not use a joint family of full stops, these things like to be left alone. Let's not hyperventilate and leave that one exclamation mark alone. Let's not over-imagine what the words are trying to say. Let's not read between the lines when there is nothing to be read. Let's not grow suspicious at the hideous-looking "Okay.", for all you know it could be a simple nod in the physical face-to-face world. Say what you want to say, as you want things to be told to you, because people out there are going paranoid scrutinizing what you say. And I am going mad writing one explanatory sentence for every previous sentence i wrote explaining myself.
Keep :-) ing

Mum ^_^

She wakes the alarm up, chemically manipulates the food and makes it taste good, gets a teenager to get up and get ready for school on time and makes her drink milk, stuffs the food it into her husband rushing out for work amidst a flurry of phone calls, makes sure the gym equipments don't get rusted out (in fact, at times she wears them out too), smoothes out the roads- jogging on them, ensures her sleep deprived daughter is up for college and this is just the beginning of her day.

Coordinating events, looking over dance performances, ensuring education and vocational training is delivered to EVERYONE within the radius of her awesomeness and she's just warming up.

Making 5 cups of tea a day for her hubby, looking amazingly beautiful, looking 20 years younger, prancing around and with a heart younger to her time on Earth by 30 years and the day is almost done but she can go on and on.

Her daughters' friends are her fans, she runs for more distances than both her daughters combined, sits with them while they study (makes coffee on demand), gives them her t-shirts away anytime, plays games with them, poses for pictures more than her daughters do, looks more like a sister to them and she's growing younger...

The wife of an Army doctor, a mom to an engineering student and a teenager. Somebody give her the Nobel Peace Prize for her birthday!

Been There, Said That

Much of our life is maneuvered by the conversations we have- with our friends, family, strangers, and ourselves. Admit it, those words flanged by double inverted commas- they are alot more than just words. You have played and replayed conversations in your head and tried to make sense out of nonsense, fished for compliments, "listened" between the lines and gloated over the flattery.
Casual utterances, debates, news, imaginary situations, complains- you've already been there and "said" that.
And then, there are those instances when you remember quirky things said. In my case I have:

"You don't need a jacket in Delhi? Pollution keeps you warm."

"Don't hate the game, hate the players."

"This is for your performance today."

"Okay, agreed you have Army blood running through you but you gotta watch where you;re going through a bus full of guys."

"You slapped him? Great!"

"Well done chicks! Congrats!"

"Your face is like an open book."

"We are Aerospace Engineers and it is rocket science!"

"What happened to your face? You look all girly today, you look good!"

"Achha beta bathao, ye Amity hai kya?"

"You're in college and you're seventeen!?"

"Your smile is important."

"You're the golden girl of our department."

"Have you seen yourself running? You run like an athlete." ("But I am an athlete.")

"You're an inspiration, Naaz."

"I was stalked!"

"How do you stay so positive about everything?"

"How about a new name like Naz?" (to be pronounced as Naeyz)

"Moti, Kumbhakaran."

"Promise me something? You'll write a book someday."

"If you go away to college, I'll beat you up 'coz then there'll be no one else to beat up."

"Naaz, that was good what you did there."

"Goodmorning! :) "

But the worst of them all, "k."

Funny, silly, annoying, admiring, flattering threads of conversations I had that I am rewinding back to now.

The First Time I Kissed Rain

From the fourth floor the streets looked tempting like a chocolate cake. I could almost smell the rain pattering on the mud.
"Let's go!"
There was a look of surprise in everyone's face.
"Please? Please? Please?"

The resolve to not go is melting down. One's fracture and the other's reluctance. God, please make them agree.

"PLEASE! Let's go now,else the rain'll slow down in sometime."

"Not with this..", he lifts his fractured finger.

"Arre we'll take an umbrella for you! Please? Else I'll miss it!"

"The doctor asked me not to get it wet."

Ayyo! Since when did you start listening to people?

"So we won't na! We're taking an umbrella."
"I'll give you mine.", the second friend offered.

"Yes! Thankyou! Ab let's go?"

"Oh alright!"

Yaaaaayyyy! I'm going into the RAAAIN!!

No amount of expressions or words can explain what followed. The desperate, half-hearted attempt to save a fractured finger from the merciless droplets of joy despite the umbrella, splashing through the puddles, making our own unplanned course towards the ground, getting drenched in happiness, throwing a key chain into the slush far away and running to look for it (failing to find it as well), donating my specs for pictures to be clicked, posing with seniors, knowing the warmth of having friends with whom you can share careless moments of bliss and in the end just sitting on the steps and watching the sports ground fill up. My happiness knew no bounds. I just knew that these were the people I want with me throughout. I just knew that rain was something I was born to fall in love with. I just knew that everyone I was with then would be with me whenever I need them. I just knew it!

If only I knew...

Looking back, all that happened seems so surreal. I still go back to the same ground to get wet but never to the same spot. I watch the steps from far and I can see four figures in the rain- laughing with joy, wet but still sitting under the umbrella, a bandaged finger dripping wet, photos being taken to be uploaded on Facebook later.
And the thinker in me takes over again.

We think relations are forever,

But their definitions change over the past,

Sometimes forever just doesn't last.

And looking back...

We long for moments to happen time and again.

Like my memories of 

The first time I kissed rain.

SVAN

Fingers at the ready,

Hammering the keyboard with a stance.

As silly jokes they crack,

Watch their eyes do a lively dance.

'Cut me some slack,

from your PJs', they say.

But you know they're really enjoying away.

Poking fun at Taklu and "Right!" and "Correct!",

Looking for a new victim to select.

Laughing loudly in a hallway of silence.

Not caring if, they cause nuisance.

Free-willed, marauding, conquering towers,

Gulping down on Fridays to diabetics' wonder.

One stands like a tank quenching his thirst,

The other full of pride of his name- fit to burst,

Laugh as one starts laughing like mad,

The idiots now like musketeers they stand,

Dedicated to those who understand...

Daydreams at Midnight

The air in the dining room is fresh and cool. The aroma of the fish curry served for dinner still lingers. It brings back memories of vacations spent at home in Kerala. The sweet scent of Ma's creams and lotions wafts from her room and fills my lungs reminding me of Umma and the nights spent watching her sleep in peace.

My grandmother has always been like a mother to me. The way she sat at the verandah early in the morning amongst the dewey and misty atmosphere whenever we would arrive from the station; the manner in which she would doze off at night after loading herself with her medicines, lotions and ointments; AND the way she's always beaming- memories come flooding back and make me long for her.

'THAAAATHAAAAA!', my sister calls me out and I am rudely shaken out of my trail of thoughts. Ruefully, I move from the spot where I was rooted in equilibrium, a few seconds back. Her room feels like an exhilarating tropical monsoon hut as the fan overhead churns the warm and cool air and brings independent currents of both down, around the room. The rain is pattering outside, provoking memories of Kerala again- the balmy air after the rains near the beach, the fishing ponds where me and dad would finally catch crabs because they made easy catches on the rocky surfaces...

My sister is complaining of her missing book and I only partly comprehend what she says because her words beating on my eardrums are punctuated with faces of relatives calling in on us to ask about my studies, about when Dad would join us and about everything they can ask. Then the stock of sweets, crispies, baked biscuits and "kattan chaya" (black tea) would be served, someone would make Tang for the guests and hearing the sound of guests, more of our relatives from the neighbourhood would  come. And when they do, they do so from everywhere- the front door, the back door, the kitchen door, neighbours with their relatives, relatives with their neighbours. It soon becomes a carnival inside the house- some kids surrounding a kid playing games on the computer, some who've come over to watch the TV, a few ladies in the kitchen helping themselves, elders at the dining table- talking of who is up to what, some men-of-the-house discussing important matters in the living room and verandah. And me? I am sliding back quietly into my Umma's room filled with her delicate essence everywhere, just happy to hear the chatter outside in the conundrum I call home.